Something Fishy is Going On

A good client of mine was going to Alaska and Seattle on business. He was leaving the Monday after Easter. I jokingly e-mailed him and told him that Neila loved salmon and if he could bring her some back that would be great.

Yesterday I got a text message from him and it was a picture of some young guy holding up a big fish. No message. Just a picture of a guy and a fish. I sort of laughed to myself and assumed that was all the fish that I was getting.

Wrong! This morning UPS deliverd 13.75 pounds of fresh salmon to my office. That's right it was the fish in the text message picture. I don't really like salmon, but Neila really loves it. So, I called Walter and told him that he had to come help me cook it. It was two enormous filleted (is that a word?) halves. Of course we are totally out of butter, no lemon juice, no nothing. Fresh ground black pepper, sea salt and tiny bit of fresh dill from the tiny plants I just put in the ground and threw it on the grill. It was incredible and I don't even like salmon. Grilled a half and ate almost all of it and cut up the rest and put it in the freezer. Swimming in the pacific one day and in my tummy the next. Insane. Thanks UPS. And if you want your own salmon see below:

http://www.pikeplacefish.com/default.html

p.s. salmon is a lot easier to prepare than an ice chest full of deer.

In Memoriam: Charles H. Lewis, Jr.

My Uncle Charlie just died. I think he was born in 1916. He was my grandmother's older brother and I have many fond memories of him. When I was 10 I wrote a report about the P-40F airplane that he flew in WWII. I was so fascinated by those planes, which lead to a short but intense obsession with WWII aircraft. Someone in Baton Rouge has a vintage airplane that they fly over our neighborhood occasionally and when I see it I stop and watch it go over and say, "Oh look, it's a P-47 Thunderbolt." He mailed me a book and wrote me a letter about all his experiences. That was way back in the day before e-mail.

He was a raconteur, a bon vivant and he loved life, something he had in common with my grandmother. He loved tomatoes. He loved martinis. That's how I remember him. He retired early in life and lived on a golf course, long before that was the cool thing to do. A long good life with a great family and great health, that's the way to do it. With all the business in my personal and work life I didn't think I was going to get around to planting my tomato plants this year, but now I think I will.

Free the Freeze!

Once upon a time when I was a single man I would often wake myself up to Al Green's "Let's Stay Together". Obviously, the words were in no way related to my then relationship status, but it sounded good and it made you happy and got you going. Then I fell in love and got engaged and married.

It's so easy loving you

At some point in our marriage I informed the wife that perhaps as a way to help us wake up in the morning we should listen to and/or "do " "The Freeze". In case you don't know, "The Freeze" is a song made popular by the visually impaired, Country-Western crossover sensation, Ronnie Milsap.

The song is accompanied by a line dance. It is very popular at proms, graduation parties, festivals, street dances and weddings. Please do not confuse "The Freeze" with Clarence Carter's "Strokin'" which is another very popular line dance/song which is usually performed by underage girls and their mothers at high school dances. Apparently, "Strokin'" is about the fornications of elderly black folks.

Okay, so hopefully you're all familar with Ronnie Milsap's version of "The Freeze" and like I was saying the wife and I half jokingly/half seriously suggest to one another from time to time that we should perform and/or listen to "The Freeze" at moments of stress or at times when you have trouble waking up, like when the time changes. Well, we just had a time change and the wife got up way earlier than I did and as I struggled to get wake up I could sort of make out some noise from our bathroom, If you don't want me to... as my body and ears finally awoke I realized she had fulfilled our dream of having "The Freeze" choregraphed to a particular moment in our life. However, I noticed that the familiar strain, Don’t tease me... Try to please me didn't sound quite as it should. Once I was fully awake, the wife reminded me that we had previously attempted to find the Ronnie Milsap version of this song and discovered that it could not be found due to the fact that apparently a bit of rift existed between Mr. Milsap and the person who owned the rights to the song. Because of this dispute it is very difficult, if not impossible to find the Milsap version therefore, she had a knock-off version downloaded to her i-pod.

A bit more research revealed that song's writer is one certain Warren Storm a native of Abbeville Louisiana and the purported godfather of the "Pop Swamp" genre.

Here's what we have to do: we have to do, we have to find Mr. Storm and petition him to release the Ronnie Milsap version of "The Freeze". I am proposing a daring and bold iniative which we will refer to as "Free The Freeze!" We need all the help we can get. First, we need several cases of Miller Lite. Line dancers love two things, one is "The Freeze" and the other is Miller Lite. If we can get enough line dancers full of enough Miller Lite I think we can raise substanial funds. With the funds we can establish a website, http://www.freethefreeze.com/ With a website we can pretty much do anything and by anything I mean that we can potentially antagonize the obviously litigous Mr. Storm. Who's with me?

If you are unfamilar with the song, the lyrics are found at the link below and are of course attributed to Ronnie Milsap.

http://www.lyricsandsongs.com/song/92408.html

post script: the author has made no attempts to verfiy that an actual disptue exists between Mr. Storm and Mr. Milsap, nor can the author explain why this song is apparently available to every single DJ in the State of Louisiana, but cannot be found on i-tunes.

You Heard It Here First

I told you Hillary Clinton wasn't out by any means. Just like that one-eyed Russian on Lost (where the hell is he, anyway? On the boat???Ben's inside man? ) she came back from improbable odds. The thing with the Clintons is that they will manufacture the rules so as to fit their dilema. "Sex with that woman? Absolutely not." "Oh, that didn't work, well then this isn't about my lying, it's about the right-wing conspiracy!" "This campaign isn't about change and the nation's economy, absolutely not, it's about all the foregin experience I racked up being the wife of someone who has foreign experience." She will move and manipulate and blow whichever way the wind blows to get elected. She will govern similarly and I have a theory that may not be so bad. I'll explain it later.

My beef right now is about this lack of foreign experience argument with Obama. Hello? Ever heard of Governor Bill Clinton from Arkansas? Ever heard of John F. Kennedy? Have you ever read the book, "Thirteen Days" or seen the movie of the same name. Kennedy saved the world from nuclear annihlation. All the generals and advisors were pushing for a strike on Cuba or an invasion during the '62 Cuban Missile crisis. Kennedy with little or no foreign expereince had a gut feeling that wasn't the appropriate strategy and began the embargo that worked. It took guts to stand up to the genereals and a certain "wiser than my age" temprement to not start a full blown war.

Hey I just looked up "Thirteen Days" and saw that Roger Donaldson directed it. I just read a glowing review of his new film "The Bank Job". My man Peter Travers at Rolling Stone really liked it.

The other point I'd like to make is the Hillary Clinton is incredibly formidable opponent and Obama has gone toe to toe with her. The guy has guts and brains and vision. Get us to the brink of a war and bring in some trusted national security advisors and he will make a damn good decision. He's no dummy. It has taken a very special person to overcome his odds and get this far. It's really sort of despicable that she would try to paint him in this light, but he's steely he's going to punch back. And there, that's him, that's why he's a great candidate and could be a great president--he can be eloquent and almost prophetic, but he can also take care of himself.

I was delighted by a NPR story I heard yesterday on my way home from work. NPR interviewed two literary reviewers, one from the Washinton Post and the other one from I can't remember where. They reviewed the books of Hillary Clinton, Barack Obama and John McCain. They both agreed that Obama's first book that he wrote prior to being a politician was very good--that he was a great writer with some real skills. They were also very fond of McCain and said that his writings were a very good reflection of who he was. Clinton, well they both agreed her work was not very good and was in fact, boring. Very standard and conventional writing by a political candidate.

Tonight I made sausage cornbread for the second time and it's really good. Really good.

No pictures. What's up with that?

Link!

Here's the ink to the SNL cartoon. I like to think of Obama being like this. Does anyone else get nauseated from looking at my blog? It's something to do with the font and the color. Maybe it's just me.

http://www.nbc.com/Saturday_Night_Live/video/index.shtml#mea=224714

SNL, Facebook, Redbox and Me

I really wanted to include a link to Youtube featuring last night's Robert Smigel cartoon on Saturday Night Live. It was a very insightful piece depicting Barack Obama's dodging of Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton. Jackson and Sharpton are depicted as buffons and Obama as being sort of sharp and in charge. Has anyone else made the argument/comment about Obama's candidacy esmaculating the political careers of Jackson and Sharpton? Oh yeah, me. So, it's me and Robert Smigel. So the only Youtube version of said cartoon is one that has been edited or rather "added to" so that someone, presumably a Clinton supporter has added an intro that likens the cartoon to Nazi propganda. Well, I didn't want to link all that crap here. I wanted it in the pure. If you didn't see it go find it. It's so keen and precise and well, funny.

I'm still grappling with Facebook. Is it really relevant to some old guy like me? I have lots of friends. I have lots of friends phone number and e-mail addresses. Do I really need a hatching egg? Does anyone really care when I graduated from college?

Last night I rented a movie from the "Redbox" at Albertson's. This is a cool red box where you scroll through an onscreen display, find a movie, swipe your credit card and then the same red box spits it out. Total costs for one night's rental? $1. That's right, $1, plus tax. It's sort of like a DVD ATM. Anyway, our inagural movie was "Gone Baby Gone" the directoral debut of Ben Affleck featuring his kid brother Casey Affleck. It was not really a chick flick, if you know what I mean. Child kidnapping, drug use, ghettos of Boston. The wife wasn't too wild about it. Okay, so it wasn't the feel good movie of the year, but the Affleck kid did a good job and I think the direction was good. The very last scene was really dynamite, it really made you think. You always got to be thinking. Always. And if you're reading this, you're not.

www.redbox.com

So yeah, I was pretty happy with the way the Oscar's turned out. I really liked "No Country" and really thought Javier Bardem was a knockout. Although it certainly appears that Casey Affleck was really good in the Jesse James movie and he was certainly good in "Gone Baby Gone." The Jesse James movie is in the red box. I might have to get it out, but after last nights depressinginly sad foray I suspect we'll have to let the wife choose our next selection and it will be something involving a wedding, an older sister, and a soundtrack featuring Abba.

Please pray for my lawn. We inherited a lush beautiful lawn when we bought our house. however we also inherited a dysfunctional sprinkler system, which lead to overwatering, which lead to brown spot disease, which lead to me applying the brown spot disease medicine improperly, which lead to even more brown (as in dead) grass and then the winter came and now the weeds grwoing up in all the old dead grass are insane. Today, I pulled weeds out the lawn in an incredibly focused and detailed fashion the likes of which Betty and Green Rives would have recognized. I then applied some Bonus-S and watered it in. Then I had to go across the street to the city-Parish servitude that runs opposite my house and behind several houses, the backs of which face my house. None of these people are into yard maintenace. So, I went over there with a swing blade and hacked away at the sticky weed that had grown several feet high. Then I picked up trash. Then I hacked at a Lugstrum that enrcoaches upon the Stop sign. Last weekend I took some windex and paper towels and cleaned the stop sign because it had grown so covered in algae that you couldn't read it. I have written my council person about all this. How many more times do I have to do it before I become a lunatic writing letters to the editor and sending the power company polaroids of burned out street lights? I guess it could be worse. We could have neighbors like at the old house who never brought in their garbage cans so I started doing it for them and would put them on their front porch. I'm not a whacko. I don't care what color you paint your house or what you affix to the outside of it, or if you do drugs or have strange men spend the night, but cut your damn grass and bring in your trash cans. I'm pretty easy going. Oh and quit speeding down my street like a maniac. Oh and clean out your goddamned culvert so that the water doesn't back up all into the street. And of course, no loud music.

The spell check appears to be inoperable again for some reason and of course I'm not re-reading this so read at your own risk. Oh, I guess that should be at the front.

Yes We Can!

Well, I'm sitting here working and listening to Barack Obama and he's winning me over again. He just said, "I'm not running because I feel it's owed to me...." and when he said it, he said it with a contempt for those who would suggest such and I believed him. Don't you want to believe? Don't you want to hope or dream? I think it was Stephen Colbert who said, "I am America (And so can you!)" Here's another applicable quote, this one from my Dad who paid us a visit tonight, "Can ran can't clear out of town." I think another way to say that is "Yes We Can".

We'll see if Obama takes the public money or not before I really go nuts for him.

Here's the Stone household's favorite politician of all time:

And another thing.......

Okay here's the list of the top ten reasons why Conservatives hate McCain also know as the top ten reasons why Democrats and Indepedents will be considering McCain also known as the top ten reasons McCain might be a good president.

1. Campaign finance reform. McCain tried to limit the role of money in politics with measures that, critics say, stomp on the constitutional right to free speech.
2. Immigration. McCain has been a vocal supporter of a path to citizenship for illegal immigrants, although he now says he understands the border between the U.S. and Mexico must be sealed first.
3. Tax cuts. McCain twice voted against President Bush’s tax cuts, saying in 2001 they helped the wealthy at the expense of the middle class and in 2003 that there should be no tax relief until the cost of the Iraq war was known. But he now wants to extend the tax cuts.
4. Gay Marriage. McCain refuses to support a constitutional amendment to ban gay marriage.
5. Stem cell research. McCain would relax restrictions on federal dollars for embryonic stem cell research, which critics consider tantamount to abortion.
6. Global warming. Among the loudest voices in Congress for aggressive action against global warming and a frequent critic of the Bush administration on the issue.
7. “Gang of 14″ member. One of seven Republicans and seven Democrats who averted a Senate showdown over whether filibusters could be used against Bush judicial nominees.
8. Kerry veep. McCain was approached by the Democratic presidential nominee in 2004, Massachusetts Sen. John Kerry, about being his running mate. McCain talked with Kerry but rejected the offer.
9. Works with Democrats. See all of the above.
10. Belligerence. McCain can be acerbic toward his critics, such as when he labeled televangelists Jerry Falwell and Pat Robertson “agents of intolerance.” He reconciled with Falwell in 2006. Conservative James Dobson, founder of Focus on the Family, said in a statement on the morning of the Super Tuesday primaries that he would not vote for McCain, citing among other things his “legendary temper” and that he “often uses foul and obscene language.”

So, let me just make clear that I think the Obama candidacy and McCain candidacy are the greatest thing that happened to us Independents since Ross Perot. Obama is nubile enough to not have been formed in the mold of a K Street Lobbyist and McCain is maverick enough to tell Jerry Falwell to go to hell.

I don't want to delve into that whole list above because I'd be here all night, but look at number nine where it says conservatives don't like him because he "works with Democrats." The temarrity of these folks to think that roughly half of the country's population don't matter. Self-righteousness and hypocrissy are really not becoming and someone didn't learn something in Kindergarten. To decide to impede the forward progress and the common good of the nation based upon party loyalty is the most foolish thing I have ever heard. Loyal to what? A mascot--donkey or elephant? It's like that bit that Seinfeld did about the pro footballs teams: after the team gets sold and the player gets traded and the team changes cities it comes down to you're really rooting for the uniform. Think of every aspect of your life: work, home, automobile, insurance, religion, floor tile, dried pasta, major electronics, potential mates, sports, music, art or booze. For everything you do and involve yourself in life are there only two choices? No, there aren't, except for major political parties and caindiates. What a completely fouled system. It's utterly and irretrivably insane. You are trying to tell me that I must choose, to be loyal to and worship at the altar of one political party who is all encompassing and repsresentative of my beliefs??? And that I can never stray from that party or least I'll face damination? That's bullshit. I'm an American, I'm a Christian, I have a brain, I'm an Independent and I'll vote for whomever I damn well please and frankly, no candidate is any better than any other, except maybe this year.....assuming Hillary will take her spear to the heart and let Obama pass. In a lot of ways, McCain and Obama remind me of Kennedy and Nixon in 1960. After Kennedy beat Nixon in an election that was by all historical accounts bought by Joe Kennedy Nixon languished for eight years before running for President again. Sort of like the eight years after Bush beat McCain by using some incredibly dirty tricks in South Carolina. Well, during those eight years Nixon becamse obsessed with Kennedy's likability and why he got cheated. His obsession with Kennedy continued even after he was elected President, which lead to the Watergate break in. That obsession was his downfall and it was only after he resigned that he realized it was his downfall and he was big enough to utter one of my all time favorite quotes that I think is often seen as sour grapes, but I think is actually a confession of sorts:

"Always remember others may hate you but those who hate you don't win unless you hate them. And then you destroy yourself. "

Well, I didn't intend for this to be so long. Another point that I wanted to make, but didn't was that I find Al Sharpton and Rush Limbaugh equally contemptible. Both have made livlihoods of being loud mouthed divisive jackasses. Both are hypocritical air bags with no real moral compass. For Rush to think he has the moral authority to question McCain is laughable. If you want to know about McCain read Robert Timberg's "A Nightingale's Song" and read about McCain leaping from his jet on the deck of the U.S.S Forestall when a missile malfunctioned and rolling threw fire while men died all around. Don't even get me started on McCain's ejection into Hanoi, his two broken arms and subsequent imprisonment. You know McCain has not in the 30 something years since he left the Hanoi Hilton spoken to the fellow prisoner of war who saved his life by caring for him because that same guy took an early release over a fellow prisoner who had been there longer contrary to their own code of honor. Rush would make out with Dan Rather if he thought it would boast his rating, line his pocket with cash or get him a 'script for some oxycotin.

While writing this I remembered something my grandmother once said and it's fitting to offer a quote from her since her birthday was this week. She too was not fond of hypocritcial politicians and upon learning that State Senator Greg Tarver had been shot by his estranged wife she said,

"Too bad she didn't kill that sonofabitch."

Yeah, the azaleas are looking good.

Independents Unite!.......and Sticks

Well, it's been too long since I've commented. Let me start by reflecting on the end of John Edwards' campaign. I've said it before but there is a lot I like abou that guy. One important point to me is that he began his campaign in New Orleans, the site of the worst natural disaster in American History. he ended it there. No other candidate campaigned as often in New Orleans. He madee fighting poverty the signautre plank of his platform. While we might all disagree on the various modes of waging this fight, I think one would have to admit it's a noble cause. No other candidate lead the fight for the down trodden and I suppose the political expediency of that notion is self-evident. So, I bid a salute to Senator Edwards for being principled and for being focused on who and what the rest of us aren't.

I thought about Edwards and Katrina and all the victims a couple of weeks ago whilst we attended the Endymion ball in the Superdome. The Superdome was a spectacle of light and alcohol and music and wonder, but I had to think about all those poor souls who weathered the storm and crapped on the floors and slept in the chairs and the few that died there. But don't worry, I wasn't Debbie Downer at the ol' ball, I quickly righted myself and remembered that that structure saved so many people's lives. If it wasn't for that home of the Saints, those people would have drown in their attics or been swept into a canal. It's a terrific structure mostly for parties, but when you call on it in a time of need it can save a mass of humanity. Thanks Superdome.

Well, Barack Obama is on a tear tonight having won the Potomac Primaries as they are dubbed. Don't count out Senator Clinton. She's like that one eyed Russian on "Lost". You've got to watch her because just when you think she's been shot dead with a spear gun she'll get up and swim out of the underground radar jamming station and blow you up. She's dangerous. I really hope we have an Obama/McCain match up. It would be a shinning moment for us Indepdents. They are both very attractive to indepedents. The other day in the paper was a list of 12 or 14 reasons why the ultra consveratives don't like McCain and after reading those I was ready to vote for him. The thing I like about Obama other than the message of change that is oh so important (see quote below) is what he will do to the politics of race. What people fail to understand is that the race baiting, race pandering days of Jesse Jackson and Al Sharpton will be gone. The Clintons have pandered and sucked up and stirred up issues of race and been more divisive than the KKK and if obama gets elected there will be a clean break from those racial politics of the past. From what I know of Federal Jurisprudence, Affirmative Action as we know it is dead, racial preferences can't be used in all those places where they had in the past. That leaves the race baiting politics of Jesse Jackson types as being one of the greatest impediments to true racial equality (you know like in the Declaration of Independence?). Obama's election would neutralize that sort of bullshit. But, that's sort of a secondary reason to root for Obama, a really good, concise expression of the hope of Obama's campaign comes from my friend Julie's brother, Richmond's blog. Richmond writes:

I don't agree with him on the war in Iraq, but I think his options are going to be more limited there than he imagines, for better or worse. But on the environment, on technology, on poverty, homeland security, immigration-- and a host of other issues, I think he has the right idea. I don't think he's the Second Coming; I don't think he's some political Messiah. I don't doubt that he will screw up, and that people will point it out-- whether on the campaign trail or in office. I do think, however, that he's capable of making us proud of our president again. I think his intentions are good, his mind is sharp, and his ability to motivate a hugely disparate group of people is nothing short of uncanny. Any candidate who can march under the utterly earnest banners of "change" and "hope" and not have me smirking ironically-- instead has me nodding-- is on to something. After viewing the carousel of tired old retreads mouthing the same old platitudes and taking the same cheapshot rabbit punches at each other, I think it's time to give someone very new and different a shot. Campaign reform? He's taken no money from lobbyists or PACs. None. Experience? Sen. Obama has more time as an elected official than Sen. Clinton has-- and she touts her experience as a selling point. (That is, unless you count her time as a presidential wife as actual experience?)The presidency isn't a hereditary office in this country-- not yet. I think it's time to remind certain elements of that. For me, Obama is a choice that shows a little faith in the better angels of our nature. As a candidate, as an official, he might make us want to be a little better than we are, rather than telling us that what we are is the greatest thing ever-- and shut up (or, and here's $50!).

I think Richmond got it right.

Ha, I just saw Al Sharpton on TV. Do you know the story of his hair? As a young man he idolized James Brown and said that if ever got to meet him he would style his hair like Brown's. He met him and now look at his hair. As funny as that story is, I wonder how many of you remember the story of Tawna Brawley? Sharpton's involvment was criminal, incendiary, despciable and vial and all in the name of race. He should be in prison.

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Tawana_Brawley

Okay, I have nothing to mention on the issue of Historic Preservation.

What else can I talk about to illustrate the multi dimensional aspects of my life. Well, I finished digging up all the spirea and azaleas in the side yard. When we moved and did work on the house we fenced the side yard to become what is in reality a backyard since this house has no backyard. There were lots of old azaleas and a termendous spirea in the side yard. While lovely, that's not where I wanted them for the back/side yard is to be a beautiful grass lawn interrupted only by a swing set or play house for the kids. So, I dug these things up now in the dead of winter and used them fill in some gaps on the front and around the siede of the fence. I am very happy to report that it appears they are going survive intact and perhaps even bloom. I'm so happy about this for several reasons, A) I hate to kill an attractive, mature plant B) I'm saving hundreds of dollars at the nursery and C) It just sort fits in with my maniac need to re-use things.

Andrew is getting big and fun. His eyes are so blue, they're really a spectacle.

Camille is just a wonder. She love sticks, which touches my heart. As my wife can tell you I own several sticks, some of them decades old. The other night, Camille dug out a stick that was in my bedside table drawer (Why it was in there, I don't know). When I was five or six I picked up a stick from the hedge between my grandmother's and her neighbor, the Kempers. Mr. Kemper had trimmed the hedge and this one particular stick about ten inches long was left on the ground after he was done. I really took a shine to it and played with it all afternoon. I took it home and my dad whittled it into a knife of sorts. A pointed top, a handle, my name carved along with some diamonds, a sun and a moon. She found it and started running with it and I stopped her and sat her down and we looked at my stick and I showed her the sun and the moon carved into it and told her it was mine. She totally got it, she knew it was a good stick. It must be genetic. If I had a picture of the stick I would put it here.

Destiny Calls Part Deux

First of all, I think my last little blog concerning ferrets, thighmasters and blinged out preachers got misinterpreted. My wife was briefly worried that I was unhappy with our life. I also received an e-mail from a certain someone who got a similar feeling and asked me, "Was it my destiny to get pregnant on my honeymoon and continue to populate the world with children that obviously have hearing problems (b/c they don't listen unless there is a Home depot stick in my hand)..... was it my destiny to wind up driving a minivan that mostly looks like a rolling Waste Management mobile.......was it my destiny to marry a man that always looks better in his jeans than I do?" Uh, I was just trying to tell a funny little story. Well, without offending my wife or any other female reader I will share another semi-incredible (not really, but slightly funny) story from work. Does anyone remember these pictures that got e-mailed around some time ago?:

Well on Friday I have this guy in my office and he's from Cutoff, Louisiana. So I ask him what he does and he says that he manages a staffing company for one of the oil field companies and that he tends bar at a pub in Cutoff and that he's also a "minister". I ask him if he has a church and he says that he doesn't, but asks if I ever saw "The Camo Wedding" on the internet. At first, I didn't remember and then he starts telling me about a duck camp and I remembered. Well he whips out his i-phone and starts showing me pictures and there he is, The Reverend Stephen Caballero. He told me that he ran into the couple not long ago and they have a little girl now and you guessed it........"Camo Baptism" is coming soon. You heard it here first. Another ray of sunshine from our old friend Fortunna.

Of course I've had more famous people than Reverend Stephen in my office before. I once did some notary work for The Black Rhino. He didn't even carry his own driver's license, a member of his entourage did it for him. This was when he was really at the peak of his career probably about a year or so before he fought Tyson. See here for more info on the Rhino: http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Clifford_Etienne

And the most famous person I've ever encountered at work would have to be the very lovely Donna Douglas. Please note that every time I ever saw her (a total of maybe two times) she was wearing the top that she has on in this picture.

Well, we've got to get ready for Mardi Gras this week. The famous people that I remember seeing at Mardi Gras in the past are, Harry Connick, Jr. , Brad Paisely, Elijah Wood, K.C. and the Sunshine Band and that's all I can remember, but what an illustrous group. Who is the most famous person you've ever seen in person? Who would you like to see? Well for me, the most famous person that I've ever seen in person would have to be the aforementioned, Donna Douglas. As for who I would most like to see in person, well that would have to be Ned Beatty, Jr.

Always listen when Destiny calls

Sometimes you look around and ask yourself, "Have I become the person that I am destined to become? Have I reached the pinnacle of my talents and abilities?" I mean Bobby Jindal is 36 and just got elected governor and I'm 32 and am a lowly title attorney. Is this my destiny? There are days when you feel like you could do so much more and you're surrounded by folk that really aren't your professional or intellectual peers? Does anyone know what I'm talking about? Anyone.....

And then there are days when the stars align and something happens and you realize that some sort of kismet roulette wheel has landed on your number. My day at work today was just such a day. I went into my secretary's office to ask her something and I noticed something near her desk. "Is that what I think it is? Why I think it's a thighmaster" "Sheilla is this a thighmaster?" I asked as I picked it up and noticed it was in less than pristine condition. "Oh, my ferret chewed on my thighmaster." Well ladies in gentlemen I'm no Bobby Jindal, but I don't care because I was there when someone said, "my ferret chewed on my thighmaster." When has that sentence ever been uttered in the history of the universe? When? Never, that's when, I tell you . "Thighmaster" and "ferret" in the same sentence. Consider stars aligned and destiny fulfilled. I went around the rest of the day asking people if their ferret had ever chewed on their thighmaster. And so I ask you, my loyal readers, "Has your ferret ever chewed on your thighmaster?"

Well, if the thighmaster/ferret combo wasn't enough to make me feel destiny fulfilled I had yet another episode where Fortuna smiled upon me. I had a closing today where a young upstart evangelical church was purchasing a big empty commercial building to expand their ministry. I had done the closing several years ago when they bought their first structure and now it was time for them move on up to a much bigger location. The Pastor has been in and out of my office several times in the last month or so dropping off things and asking questions. He has always been sharply yet casually dressed. On his last visit he indicated that he would bring the church secretary and the church's lawyer to the closing even though he knew they weren't really needed. It's time for the closing and I go out in the waiting room and there is this church entourage, if you will and the Pastor decked out in the most incredible regalia I think I have seen in person. Not Joseph and the Amazing Technicolor dreamcoat regalia, but more like MTV Music Awards regalia. Pastor was sporting Dior sunglasses, pin striped pants, alligator loafers, stripped shirt with paisley tie and lots of "ice" as the kids would say. As I shook his hand his big shinny "platinum" bracelet became wedged between our hands and as we shook firmly it cut into one of my fingers causing much pain. Now, I didn't indicate that any pain was inflicted, but when I left the closing to make copies I examined my finger and found that a red blood blister type thing had formed. It dawned on me, "How many times will an evangelical preacher's gaudy jewelery cause me injury?" Undoubtedly never again. Yet another bizarre alignment of bizarre events landing in my cosmic lap.

I suggest to those of you who are feeling underwhelmed to hope. John Edwards/Barack Obama hope, hope that one day you will experience your own personal ferret/thighmaster/gaudy preacher jewelry injury trifecta of purpose driven cosmic self fullfillment. Trust me you won't be sorry

On the unintended historic preservation theme note I heard today that the Mansfield Elementary/High School demolition has begun. My Mom also told me that the Mansfield Female college group is hoping to move an old church from across the street on their campus. Turns out the old church that once housed the Jehovah's Witnesses in Mansfield was the original Methodist Church and was later moved to it's present location. It is apparently quite old. I have a picture somewhere! Oh and another positive note is that the EBR school board has approved a plan that will spend an obscene amount of money to renovate Baton Rouge High, alma mater of Bobby Jindal and my friend, Rhett Morris. A victory for historic preservation.

The New President of Iowa is....

I can't help it. I love politics. I hate it, but I love it. I love "Hardball". I love wonks and talking heads and all these sort of people. I hate Senator Hillary Clinton. Whereas some men love and are obssessed with sports or hunting or golf, I am obessed with politics. I have come to know that I can't spend too much time obssessing because it is such a depraved subject. No good comes of it. There are no good candidates. I'll have to say I don't get why folks don't gravitate to John Edwards. Have you ever seen this guy? He looks amazing. He is an incredible speaker--I don't know if there are any better. He's been married to the same woman for a couple of decades. He loves poor people and has made that his number one cause. No other candidate has been to New Orleans more than he has. I never knew why he didn't win the nomination in 2004, but of course I never understood how Kathleen Blanco got elected. Well, I don't know if he can get it this time or not, but he intrigues me and inspires me. If you want change there is no other candidate than Obama. I took an online quiz the other day to determine which candidate I share the same views with. You know who my candidate should be? That's right, Mike Gravel. I'm not really sure who he is, but second place went to John McCain. I've been a fan of his since I read a great book called "The Nightngale's Song" by Robert Timberg about ten years ago. It detailed the lives of several graduates of the Naval Academy. Around that time I had finished my first semester of law school and not finished so high up in my class and I was proud that McCain had finished about fifth from the bottom at the Academy. I like his Mavericktude also. He's got a good shot going into New Hampshire. I don't care for Giulani. I like Obama. I like Edwards. Hillary is a oppourtunistic whore. Oh, and David Vitter is a hypocrite and should resign. I'm still waiting on my apology from him, not for patrionizing a prositute, but for condeming gay marriage in the name of family values while patronizing a prostitute. I demand an apology. But here's the thing for me: I think you need the candidate who at the end of the campaign is the same as at the beginning of the campaign whose election whoredom won't really change them and I think that candidate is McCain. So, if you want to know who Chuck Norris' candidate is (and undoubtedly my grandfather who loves Walker Texas Ranger does) here's his candidate:

I didn't even re-read this ramble once. I bet it shows.